Thursday, June 6, 2013

How to Plan a Wedding


Put your dreams on hold.
You want to go backpacking in Europe or start your own business?
Ha! With what money?
All of your money will now be going towards bacon wrapped dates, a 32 tier cake and ice cubes with the bride & groom’s face in them.

Change your personality. 
You hate crowds and being the center of attention? 
Pshaw! 
Dress up like a princess and surround yourself with 200 guests.

Ignore your instincts. 
You initially wanted to have a private ceremony with immediate friends & family? 
Unheard of! 
Declare your love theatrically with vows you found on Pinterest in front of hundreds of guests.

Become obsessed with stuff. 
You don’t really care about centerpieces and the font on place cards? 
Too bad. 
You will now spend 864 hours researching monogrammed mason jars, wedding pinatas and mustache props for a photo booth.

Follow outdated/sexist and silly/new traditions. 
You want to keep it simple and make your own traditions? 
Shut your mouth. 
Make sure your father gives you away like the property that you are and don’t forget to have a wedding party (with an equal number of groomsmen to bridesmaids OR ELSE.)

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