In between searching Pinterest for bouffant tutorials, checking Etsy for floral crowns and being inspired by multitasking bloggers I started thinking about wtf I want from life.
Every Etsy shop/blog/website I visit I think "I want to be doing that! Why isn't that me? Do I even want to do that?" and I end up googling things like "what do I want in life?"... Unfortunately google can't tell me that.
I've talked to Mister about this a lot and I always mention how I don't want it to come off as a complaint. In fact, I appreciate that I have the "problem" of not knowing what I want. Because the reason I can't decide is that there are so many opportunities and options that I just can't choose.
What I do know:
- That whatever I do, I want to do with Mister (I just like having him around)
- I want to create/crochet (for as long as my hands allow me)
- I want to travel/live somewhere amazing (sorry Arizona, you're not cutting it anymore)
- I want to give back (whether through volunteer work/donations/etc.)
- I want to be content/awakened/happy/whatever (I'm looking into yoga and buddhism to aid with these for the long run)
Everything else I want changes daily (go back to school? start a new business? shave my head? go gluten free? move back to California? move to a farm? learn sign language? change my whole wardrobe? move into a larger place? get rid of everything and move into a studio? become a teacher? retire at 25?)... And Mister is so laid back that he goes with any flow. He's happy as long as he has football, video games and Wu-Tang (ok, there's more to his happiness, but those are the basics.)
I'm slowly trying/learning to enjoy the present rather than worry about the imagined future. It's easier said than done but I think it might click soon. Let's hope starting yoga soon and reading about buddhism helps.